No one understands me. They think they can help but they can’t. The fear is just too intense. My heart stops and my skin crawls. Everyone threatening me with pictures, where ever I look I’m being terrorized by my peers.
When I see it I pause trying to understand what it is first, then trying to understand who put it there. Just before I can understand what’s happening I squeal. After the incident there is laughter, not the kind I want. Everyone laughs at my reaction. To cover up how I feel I fake a smile as if it was funny but really I can’t come to terms with the fact that I never want to experience that pain again.
They think it’s funny and that since I’m smiling they can continue the torment. This leaves me with constant fear. Do you ever wish you could just make a fear disappear so it will never bother you again? That’s how I feel about my fear. It’s so surprising how often I encounter it considering it’s not that common.
Even now as they watch videos and laugh I can’t stop imagining the way it looks. The fear and angst are nothing to joke about. They start to make videos of me and my fears. Everyone tries to help by telling me to look at pictures. They try to explain to me why it’s not even that scary. All I can do is sit there and take it because I know it will be over soon.
Or will it ever end. Can I ever run away from the fact that I can’t face my fear? Will it follow me where ever I go? Does everyone have to know my fear and exploit it?
Anteaters, they are everywhere.
