I am blogging.

This is one of those things I never imagined going through with. I was always one of the people who, perhaps incorrectly, believed that blogging belonged to those single-minded individuals with so little to do in their lives that they decided to relay their shallow experiences to the online world. When offered the opportunity to publish my thoughts on the Round Table Media website though, I figured it could be a positive way to use the valuable time I usually spend procrastinating. So, for fear of sounding more hypocritical than I already have, I shall try not to limit this blog to blogging.

Instead, I will use my time and talents for the better. In this case, to inform; I’ll do my best to entertain, but as I said, I’m a novice, so bear with me.

But I digress; perhaps you’ve heard of a certain Catholic priest from the University of Illinois campus that recently got picked up for dealing cocaine?

I know, pretty unreal.

Reverend Christopher Layden pleaded guilty to charges of drug sales from his rectory on Sept. 12. The 33-year-old has been suspended from his duties; I for one am looking forward to watching the case unfold.

I’m hoping for a big-publicity, paparazzi-filled arrest and trial. If it goes as other popular court cases tend to, the public should look forward to a trial a few months from now, with the press filling in the slow gaps with gossip and rumors. The reverend will spend the following weeks seeing his mug shots flashed on national television and hiding his face behind a newspaper any time he steps into the public’s eye. There will be a brilliant, dirty defense attorney, surrounded by a cast of colorful, attention-seeking characters.

Can you imagine it? Overly-opinionated soccer moms armed with picket signs, screaming, “Hannibal Lector sells coke in our rector!” or maybe “Ye shall surely bring innocent blood upon yourselves; Jesus loves the sinners!” Just think of the late-night talk-show interviews, the “experts” being invited as guests on evening news shows, the all-around scandal. The reverend will be psychologically analyzed, set up to lie-detectors, and interrogated on “60 Minutes.”

His otherwise normal childhood will be labeled “abusive,” his adolescent years marked “confused,” his life on campus deemed “abnormal.” Those who only met him once will be brought on national television, asked to give their own impressions of the once-holy reverend. Before long, the public will know more about his past, psyche, and inner child than the priest himself.
If all goes as planned, this controversy should be far more interesting than the overrated priest-turned-child-molester story. If anything, it should rival the once equally unimportant, fluff story of Anna Nicole Smith. It will certainly get more airtime than the upcoming OJ Simpson case.

When juxtaposed, I know which case I would be more interested in following; a typical, attention-deprived celebrity getting far more publicity than he deserves pales in comparison to a coke-dealing priest.

These past couples of months, the press have been robbed of their meaty, controversial stories, thanks to the Olympics and election coverage. A priest in handcuffs for something other than child molestation is the perfect way to reel the public back in.

The press has already got my support.