A new verbal trend is rearing its ugly head all around Middletown High School. Nearly every time a question is posed about plans this phrase arrives:

“I mean, I’m trying to get off work today,” or “I’m trying to hang out later,” and of course, the reciprocal, “I’m not trying to do that.”

As a very literal and visual person, I picture people physically trying to do something. I envision a person with perspiration dripping from his or her brow and exerting immense force in order to go to an event as simple as a basketball game later in the evening. I realize this sounds ridiculous and even eccentric, but I have accepted this about myself. The phrase is not only irritating to my ears, but it makes little sense semantically. The conjugated version of the verb ‘to try’ is completely unnecessary because its meaning is fulfilled by the infinitive verb ‘to want’. It would sound much more eloquent to simply say, “I want to get off work today,” or “I want to hang out later,” or “I don’t want to do that.”

I understand that this phrase is an evolving slang that sounds less formal and more teen-friendly than large, cumbersome verbs such as ‘want’. But I feel a strong distaste nonetheless. I am an English junkie, and I enjoy manipulating words and meanings to my liking, and I often use slang, too. However, I cannot stand for this abomination of the English language.

In response to this contagious verbal trend, I will take it upon myself to correct others and boycott the entire phrase. I want to put an end to this. 

I’m mean, I’m trying to…